pursuit of happiness
Hi everyone. Here we go. Another day, another journey.
On my run through the woods today, I realized a few things.
I realized that today I felt much happier than yesterday (day after election day was yesterday) which I am sure most all of us do; even if you voted for our newest President elect, there was at some point a little bit of stress on you during this whole election process.
I also realized that for a long time, like all of my life until today, I viewed happiness as something that came along with living, something that occurred. Today, somehow, I realized that yes, sometimes happiness does come to us organically, but more often than not it is something we have to make a pointed effort to find. For some people this is easy, a no brain-er. Me? I think of myself as a realist, but realistically I tend to err on the side of pessimism in most cases. Not because I like to be negative, I actually really dislike it when I am negative, but that is just how my brain is wired. But today, as I jaunted through the woods on a trail I had never explored before, I realized it is all really about choice. And all of our choices basically come down to a simple choice of whether or not we choose to be happy, or a grump. I guess prior to this realization today, I was pretty grumpy most of my days. I took the world as coming at me, not coming from me. I had read uplifting things about changing my mood; I had gotten annoyed with the overly happy people in my life (seriously, HOW are you SO happy ALL THE TIME!?); I had told my children time and again to "change your attitude" when they were getting on my nerves, on and on, but somehow I let these things happen or come out of my mouth without really taking them seriously. My cathartic run turned this thought process around (running is the new black BTW).
The final thing I should mention I realized is that a lot of things that currently make me unhappy, or at the least do not give me happiness, in my personal life are things and ideas that I have in my head that I store in a safe little corner. I think of many things throughout the day, and it's those recurring ideas, the 'I should do that' , or usually 'I should make that' or 'I should start that' that I think about that make me feel excited, and then, because I don't do them, they weigh me down. I think I store things most often because I am scared to take new leaps, perhaps I don't feel like I have the time because life is busy, or I am scared because I don't think I know exactly how to do what I want to do, but mostly it comes down to am scared to do try things. I have thought for months about how I should be writing down my ideas, my thoughts, my feelings, maybe even blogging about them. How it would probably help me sort things out, figure things out, get things going. But, I was too scared to just do it. I was scared it would be awkward, or I would not do it "right" or whatever, I was just kind of scared of it. So, today, here I am. I am DOING IT.
So, on this enlightening run on this beautiful and unseasonably warm November day, I decided I would start to blog about my personal pursuit of happiness. I am not a psychologist, or a master in meditation, or a behavioral specialist/therapist, I am not a life coach, or a counselor; I am a woman, a mother of two small children, who owns a small business, works miscellaneous other jobs to help pay bills, struggles with the reality of my life versus my dreams, and is not a naturally happy person. I don't expect to be happy all of the time. I am a very emotional person, so that would be impossible as I simply feel too many things. However, it is an immediate goal to feel happy most of everyday, and to learn to laugh more, especially when I am being ridiculous, or when I am crying over something silly. SO, if you care to follow along with me on my journey of what I do and think about seeking happiness, here we are. And thank you for being part of my journey.